Dinner For One

Today was a very weird day for me food-wise, yet also very normal, and probably one of the reasons I struggle so much. I didn't overeat, I didn't eat the wrong things, I just didn't eat what was good for me nutritionally. Not a praiseworthy day, but certainly nothing tragic either.

I did stick to my WW points, and I drank water water water all day. The last week or two, I've even been replacing a lot of my floury snacks (crackers, etc.) with fruit instead. I have forced myself to eat breakfast every morning, high fiber cereal and almond milk, and even traded in regular old sugar on my cereal for Truvia (man, good stuff, why does it have to be so expensive). I've added a few low fat dairy items to my lunch bag, too, because James pointed out that the reason I probably never have any energy is because I never eat any protein. The sausage on my pizza last Saturday night not withstanding.

But tonight was very typical of me and my decision making process. James had to work later than usual. And although I had salads all prepped for dinner, I just turned my nose up at it. I would be dining alone and felt like I could do whatever I wanted for my meal. After throwing in a load of laundry, what I truly wanted to do with my night off was sit by the fire , put in my "spa" Zen CD, and finish the last 40 pages of the paperback I've been deep into. Which is precisely what I did. And somehow relaxing by the warm fire on the couch and cozying up with a good book and a big bowl of salad just didn't sound as good as popcorn. So I turned to that old single girl standby for dinner, and I did make popcorn. But it was air-popped, so no greasy calories to mess up my WW tracker.

Now James will fuss at me undoubtedly, because he will eventually get home tonight (it's 8:30 now and no sign of him) and I will serve him the big salad I've already made and placed in the fridge to keep cold, and I will sit with him at the dining room table so I can talk to him and see how his day was. And he will ask me what I had for dinner, and I will confess it was popcorn, and he will insist I should have had some of the salad. And I won't disagree. I know I should have had a big bowl of greens and carrot and tomato and cuke, but I just wasn't in the mood.

Seems like my "moods" get me in trouble with my weight loss efforts. I'm not in the mood to exercise, I am in the mood for lasagna and garlic bread, or I'm just not in the mood to even think about any of it at all. If my mood is stress, I may binge eat straight from the pantry- I've been known to eat dry pasta right out of the box just because it was the only "crunchy" thing in the house. But if my mood is happy, I may overeat at a restaurant with my husband- smiling across the table at the man I love just makes me want creme brulee.

I know I can't control my "moods", but I can certainly control the choices I make during those times. I just have to learn how.

Sandy