It has gotten pretty bad, at least for me. I am to the point where I officially have to lose 100 pounds to get to my ideal healthy weight. I am at the largest size the regular department stores carry in their Plus section, and I am straining the seams on those clothes. I feel like I just had to buy this bigger size, and now I have already outgrown it. I have become the person I dreaded the most- the stereotypical middle-aged fat woman, wearing big flowy tops with loud prints (see photo below from last week), lots of clunky jewelry, and gigantic handbags. I am not sure if I am trying to hide behind it all, or make myself look smaller compared to such larger accessories. There is definitely nothing dainty or ladylike about me these days.
Lately I am always the biggest person in the room- at meetings, at parties, at restaurants, at family gatherings. I am the size I was seven years ago, when I knew I'd had enough and I was determined to lose it all. And I did, in a year. But I've spent the last six years gaining it all back. This past year or so has been the worst of it, the most dramatic increase. Since I started back to work 14 months ago, I've gained almost 40 pounds. And I don't know why because I feel like my habits are pretty much the same as they've been the last 4-5 years.
My exercise has always been so inconsistent, and my diet has always been horrendous. And I know A + B = C...as in Cow, which is how I feel today as I sit here. I don't want to wake up one day in a few more weeks, and realize I will have to go to Lane Bryant to buy yet another round of bigger sizes because I can't breathe in my tight pants. And most of all, I'm tired of the low energy and poor health and, on some days, depression- all of which I know are tied into my weight and diet. I was shocked again this year when I had my physical and the test results showed my blood sugar and cholesterol were fine. I am fortunate somehow to have dodged those two potential killers. But, as always, my blood pressure is terrible even on medication- and especially lately with the extra stress at work.
Although this week, we are still cleaning out the fridge and cabinets of all the holiday treats and junk, next week we will start with a fresh grocery list in hand as we head to Publix. James has truly enjoyed having the Wii, and even on nights when he gets home super late and he's very tired, he still spends about an hour playing (exercising). He loves the way it helps to relieve stress. I haven't quite gotten there yet, but I do enjoy it and am trying to get in a routine on it. And I am also going to weigh myself every week, because lately I've been in denial and will go 3-4-5 weeks without stepping on the scales, even when I could tell I was gaining. I've started a new ticker down at the bottom of the page, and I will weigh every Friday morning from now on.
I don't want to get back on this blog in a month and tell you I have 110 pounds to lose.
Sandy
Lately I am always the biggest person in the room- at meetings, at parties, at restaurants, at family gatherings. I am the size I was seven years ago, when I knew I'd had enough and I was determined to lose it all. And I did, in a year. But I've spent the last six years gaining it all back. This past year or so has been the worst of it, the most dramatic increase. Since I started back to work 14 months ago, I've gained almost 40 pounds. And I don't know why because I feel like my habits are pretty much the same as they've been the last 4-5 years.
My exercise has always been so inconsistent, and my diet has always been horrendous. And I know A + B = C...as in Cow, which is how I feel today as I sit here. I don't want to wake up one day in a few more weeks, and realize I will have to go to Lane Bryant to buy yet another round of bigger sizes because I can't breathe in my tight pants. And most of all, I'm tired of the low energy and poor health and, on some days, depression- all of which I know are tied into my weight and diet. I was shocked again this year when I had my physical and the test results showed my blood sugar and cholesterol were fine. I am fortunate somehow to have dodged those two potential killers. But, as always, my blood pressure is terrible even on medication- and especially lately with the extra stress at work.
Although this week, we are still cleaning out the fridge and cabinets of all the holiday treats and junk, next week we will start with a fresh grocery list in hand as we head to Publix. James has truly enjoyed having the Wii, and even on nights when he gets home super late and he's very tired, he still spends about an hour playing (exercising). He loves the way it helps to relieve stress. I haven't quite gotten there yet, but I do enjoy it and am trying to get in a routine on it. And I am also going to weigh myself every week, because lately I've been in denial and will go 3-4-5 weeks without stepping on the scales, even when I could tell I was gaining. I've started a new ticker down at the bottom of the page, and I will weigh every Friday morning from now on.
I don't want to get back on this blog in a month and tell you I have 110 pounds to lose.
Sandy
Hang in there Sandy! Sometimes it seems relentless but any step you take towards getting healthy is a good one.
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