Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Woe Is Me

Well here is a lovely squinty photo my husband took of me over Thanksgiving weekend. I was hamming it up, but on the inside this is about how I really felt. I was going to come home and post about how I've been doing lately, write out all my sad excuses as to why I've gained 13 pounds since I went back to work in October, and wonder what in the world I was going to do about it. Then a (not so) funny thing happened. Apparently I must have picked up a bug during the holidays, and I came down with strep throat. Not just a mild case, mind you, because I do everything BIG. In fact by the time I finally let my husband convince me to go to the urgent care center, the doctor told me it was one of the worst cases he'd ever seen and it was, as I quote the doc, "quite impressive." Typical symptoms, fever, all sorts of nasty things coming out of me, and a throat that was SO sore and in screaming pain that I couldn't even drink water. In about four days, I lost said13 pounds. Yes, just like that, a snap of the finger, a few days in bed with 103 degree fever, and those pounds were gone. Mind you, I was sick and not at all hungry, even if I could have eaten. I did manage a pack of Jello here and there, and a little ice cream until the milk product and the mucusy yucky on my insides decided to disagree and leave.

After I was back on my feet this Monday, I thought to myself, okay, even though I was sick I am going to use this as a do over and start back out on the right foot. Only, that night my husband and I decided to go out and eat after work, and since I was finally finally able to eat solid food for the first time since last Wednesday, well, I ate pizza like I would never ever get the chance to again. Today it was lunch out with the hubby, Chinese food. Not a good beginning. I won't get on the scale tomorrow, I just won't do it.

This whole episode has reminded me why "dieting" doesn't work. There's the starvation then the big quick weight loss. Then you finally get back to real life and the old way of doing things, and the weight just comes right back. Having strep throat is not a preferred way of dieting, but you get my meaning. However you want to phrase it. Going on a diet. Starting a program. "Going on" and "starting" all have counterparts, which are "going off" and "ending". I know that what I need to do is CHANGE. And make it permanent and make it healthy and make it stick with me in everything that I do and everything that I eat. I feel like I am just struggling along right now, like everyone else, waiting for January 1st. But, I will be 43 on December 31st, so I've put things off now for way too many New Year's Days!