Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Little (Big) Black Dress

This weekend I had one of those experiences that many overweight women dread- I had to go clothes shopping for something very specific. Not like when I normally go, on a whim, and happen to find something cute at Kohl's. And not something comfortable like pants with an elastic waistband or a billowy peasant blouse to hide everything. No, I had to find a dress for a work function in two weeks. A "business formal" dress. James has to wear his suit, so I have to look like the other half of a matching set. I don't wear dresses, in fact the last time I had one on it was a few years ago for a friend's funeral. I do have several old dresses hanging in the closet (read: dresses that are too small for me to wear now). So of course those didn't fit, and I gave up after I tried on the first two.

I actually don't like clothes shopping, and I know my husband will tell you I am full of bull and to just look in my closet. But it's true. I wear the same thi
ng over and over again- slacks and a blouse. No skirts, no dresses, no power suits. I love accessories (purses, shoes, jewelry) more than I like the actual clothes. It's not because I'm overweight, but because I've never been froo-froo and I'm basically still a tomboy at heart. So, I don't wear a dress unless it's an absolute requirement. Say, like my wedding. But, the work function is important, a banquet where a lot of the bigwigs will be gathered, and I don't want to be the one wife who sticks out like a sore thumb. I am going as an executive's wife, but I am also an employee there as well.

I started my search here in Newnan. I went to Belk's, and had plans t
o go to Dillard's after that. But Belk's was depressing, and the only thing I could find that I would even wear in public made me look like a retired school marm. It was awful. I know I'm in my 40's, but this dress added another 10-15 years to me! Everything Belk's had just seemed to scream "PLUS SIZE!" I was so defeated I didn't even go to the next store. But on Saturday my lovely wonderful husband said he would drive us up to Atlanta to anywhere I wanted to go, and we'd find a dress for me. We ended up at Macy's, and I did find a dress (above). I know in this photo it looks like I'm going to a Goth rock concert, but it's actually very nice. It's by Jessica Howard, and here's the model wearing a much skinnier size...

I'm happy with my find, but not satisfied with it. I'm happy because it's formal enough and it fit and I know I will look nice for my husband at the banquet. But I'm not satisfied because I know my size limited my choices. Macy's had a large formal section with dresses in every bright color, with sequins and little straps, but not in my size. At my size, this is what I had to choose from. Why is that?

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Yes I'm Still Here

Do I look confused in this photo from last weekend? Well, I should, because this look on my face is exactly how I feel about my weight loss efforts lately. I have been avoiding this blog like I've been avoiding the scale in my bathroom. But, I did weigh today, for the first time in oh, maybe a month. It wasn't as horrible as I anticipated, but it wasn't a number I really wanted to see either. I knew I had gained weight over the holidays, because of how my clothes have been fitting these days. I started this blog because I wanted to get serious about my weight loss and I wanted another tool to help me focus on it. I read so many other weight loss blogs where folks post their daily successes and struggles, and I was hoping to do the same. I knew once I stopped going to my Weight Watchers meetings, this gain was likely to happen. This has been my pattern in the past- as long as I go to meetings, I keep losing weight. As soon as I stop going, I slowly start to let the pounds creep right back on. I miss my Friday morning meetings, and I especially miss my enthusiastic and inspirational leader Marci. I did check online this morning, and found that although she doesn't do Saturday mornings at the old location (which was an actual WW center), she does do Saturdays at a different location (and a Thursday night one), at a church nearby. James and I are done with vacations and out of town weekend trips for awhile, and right now it's free to join back up with WW. I have to seriously consider this as an option. Hopefully I will have some good news to report soon, so that I can get back on here and get dedicated and focused on this area of my life!