It seems as though a lot of my weight loss focus is always on getting back on the right path. I know some people can stay dedicated to a program 24/7 and never have to look back. I have my ups and downs though, and I think realistically most of us do. But I let my "downs" get to me. Today I skipped my Weight Watchers meeting because the scale showed a big gain. Big as in, pretty much everything I have lost since joining, I regained in one week. It wasn't much of a total loss to begin with, but it was enough that it made me feel a sense of accomplishment and success. I won't skip my meeting completely, I will go one morning this week. Just not today. And I am trying not to beat myself up about it.
Last week when my dad was here and in the hospital for his broken hip, I barely ate all day for the whole week. So when I weighed in last week, it showed a big loss. But over the weekend I fell into my self-destructive trap of eating out several times, and not even trying to make healthy choices. Fried chicken tenders, pasta, Cokes. Last night, even though I cooked, I did not even bother to measure the amount of food I put on my plate. And I haven't exercised in about two weeks, since we were in Alabama.
All of that added up to an ugly number on the scale this morning. I know it sounds childish, but I really love that Weight Watchers hands out charms and awards for milestones, and I've always used that as one of my motivations to keep on going. Plus, I have my Pandora bracelet that I bought last year- with a charm for every five pounds lost- and I still have to lose about 15 pounds before I can allow myself to wear it again. I know, rewards are shallow and not a "reason" to lose weight, but everyone needs that carrot dangling on a stick out in front of them. Right now I'm too far away from my ultimate weight loss goal to even think about it, but I sure would like to wear my bracelet again. I can see that right in front of me, and it's a closer goal to attain.
Vacation is looming, only seven weeks away, and once again I have that challenge of being able to fit into my summer clothes and being happy with how I look in our vacation photos. Will I be healthy enough to do the things we will plan, will I get too tired too quickly? Can I keep up with my husband, or will I be a party-pooper and want to fall into bed too early? I want to be able to enjoy our trip without any nagging pains or exhaustion to ruin it for me.
SANDY
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