Thursday, October 16, 2014

Patterns

I have one dangerous pattern that seems to be my undoing.  I start off strong but I can't maintain.  That pattern shows up on so many levels.

If you read my blog, you know that I am a chronic rejoiner of Weight Watchers (my leader jokingly calls me a reoffender).  I never stick to it for long, which is crazy, because I know it works.  The plan has never failed me- I myself fail.  I always start off with guns blazing, I track every smear of mayo, I'm online looking up how many points are in those bread sticks at Olive Garden, I am standing on the sidewalk every Friday morning when they unlock the doors for the meeting, I swap my favorite yogurt (6 points!!) for the 2 point version I can barely tolerate.  I do everything I'm supposed to do the first few weeks, the first few months.  Then I start missing meetings here and there, I don't track on the weekends, I forget to count the butter I put on that second piece of toast at breakfast.

I know some people don't like WW because of the tracking- they don't want to measure or weigh food, they don't want to calculate the points on everything. But that's one of the things that I love about the program.  It does NOT bother me to write down everything I eat, and even though WW has new apps and iPhone stuff, I still like to use the paper tracker and a pen.  I firmly believe that the only real way to lose weight is know your fat and calories, know your proper portion sizes.  If I don't know what I'm eating, or how much, I will continue to overeat and continue to gain weight.  It's that simple really.  I'm a compulsive list-maker anyhow, so tracking fits my personality perfectly.  Having said that, I almost always drift away from it after a few months of tracking faithfully.

The other pattern that I notice is a cycle that, even when I'm following WW religiously, I can't seem to break.  I always start off Mondays fired up and ready to go.  Monday through Thursday, I stick to the plan with perfection. I don't go over my points, I exercise, I eat all my fruits and vegetables, I drink water by the gallon.  Since I'm home alone every day, that's been easy to maintain.  But then comes the weekend.  Fridays I'm usually in town all day, so I stop in for lunch somewhere.  Friday night has become a regular date night with the husband, and that includes a nice dinner out and the movies- where James can NOT go without getting a big popcorn.  Saturday and Sunday we are almost always on the run, here and there, going out, running errands, weekends in the mountains or in the big city.  There is always another lunch out here, a dinner out there, a pizza or two ordered.  Even if we are home, it seems the snacking is ongoing as we watch football games or baseball or car racing.

When I work hard all week to lose 4 pounds, I put it all back on every weekend.  The result?  I go to my meetings on Friday with no loss-no gain.  This has been my cycle for as long as I can remember.  I always joke at the meetings and say I am a part-time member, and that's what it feels like.  I am a dedicated Weight Watcher from Monday through Thursday, then all bets are off on the weekends.

This has been my number one obstacle, and I haven't yet found a way to get beyond this pattern.  It's abusive and wasteful.  It's wasteful because if this is how I'm going to continue, then "being on" Weight Watchers is wasting my time.  Unless I dedicate myself to it every day, I will never make progress, I will always be stuck in this up and down pattern, never moving forward.

SANDY

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